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[访谈录] 【整理】2007-11-12&11-14, 教你五招轻松搞定压力

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Five ways to deal with stress


Angela Burt-Murray of 'Essence' magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz tell TODAY's Natalie Morales how to deal with the anxiety this festive season




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I've heard about the recent survey that found a third of us are living with extreme stress. Well, as the holiday is approaching, the shopping season kicks in, it's not gonna get any easier. So we've decided it's time to enlist some stress reducing help from Angela Burt-Murray as the editor-in-chief of Essence magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz Today contributor…and contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. Psychiatrist. Sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is a time of the year when all of us, I think, get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in voraciously about, isn't that right?

Absolutely, absolutely, one of the things they're telling me about is as they're coming down to the end of the year, they're feeling a lot of pressure with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligation, and of course, shopping for the holiday.

Yeah, and Gail, I mean, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be, they are the one to sort of, are the, you know, make the holiday, and they feel that was to keep up everything else that they're doing during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know June Creeper sort (Right) of perfect holiday.

And that includes, generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it's as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I've got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all beautiful, they have to make it all delicious, they have to meet their children's expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these are the relationships, that usually you don't necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. And that can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do it like I remembered my mother doing it. Or I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect they're supposed to be, they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you'll have a better chance of being more objective about. You know, maybe I don't have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies; maybe that's not where the load comes from. (Right) Maybe that's something my mother chose to do but I'm gonna do it differently.

And part of the investigating, some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of a year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that's the part of the thing that you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen mask/ comes down, put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it's really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

And moving onto money, because there's another big issue on the holidays (Yeah) and Gail, you say it's time to realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know, again I advocate for the relationships matter/, so if you're stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are gonna put yourself into debt later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom (Yeah) that actually no one is gonna really wanna be around.

And when the credit card bill comes, you would be even grumpier in January.

And it would stress your relationship (Right) and so you really need to make up a plan that's reasonable for after the new year.

Exactly. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, get a budget, and do something really simple like avoid the holiday crowd and just shop online. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gift wrap and free pa(cked )eh..delivery. So it's easy and cost-effective.

Some of the burden, (absolutely) some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail, you say the important thing is to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, actually, people like to be needed. If you say 'you know what, this year Thanksgiving we are doing a potluck, can you bring the sweet potatoes? Can you bring the dessert?' You said to your sister, 'you know, we are gonna be together, can you do this?' People actually like to contribute and feel that they are part of things and they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I farm it out. And actually it is really a mistake. And if you would ask, ask your spouse. 'Hey, you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list.' He's actually gonna feel good. And it's not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is another really key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely, during this stressful time, the health issues can become, you know, more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

(have a cup of tea about the firer)

Because after that, people, because they get anxious and stressed, they drink more during the holidays, (Right) they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to relieve your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.

Right! Angela Burt-Murray, Dr. Gail Saltz, thanks so much. (Thank you)


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It is often heard about a recent survey we are living with extremely stress as well as the holidays approaches shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. High address, sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so breaciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the make holidays, they feel you keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come frm somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aero plane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn a way you have to, say notice something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said bear on our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out that money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be round you are wanna be around.

You grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crow and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving pop lock, you bring the potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, yu know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the over eating and the over drinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!
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homework
It is often heard about a recent survey that on the third of us, we are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaching the shopping, season kicks in and it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you her, psychiatrist,sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think are so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so XX about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just calm down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottomline is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. There is one sort of are ,you know, the maker of holidays, they feel you keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the XX you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m gonna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aeroplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen mask comes down and put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said it's time to realize our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all, you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for the relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are gonna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is gonnna around you, that you are wanna be around.

credit card bill can make you even grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan that’s reasonable for after the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner.G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year's thanksgiving we would do a XX, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the desert, you know, we are gonna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing somethiing they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually gonna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

after that, people becase they get anxious and stress, they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good.(and you find more stress than you realized ) So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and overdrinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!


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homework 请改头贴 谢谢--leaf

It is often heard about a recent survey that on the third of us, we are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaching the shopping, season kicks in and it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and our…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you her, psychiatrist,sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think are so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so graciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just calm down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, and the element, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. There is one sort of are ,you know, the maker of holidays, they feel you keep up everything else they are doing during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know, June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time they think, it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m gonna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aeroplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen mask comes down and put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said it's time to realize our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all, you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for the relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are gonna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is gonnna around you, that you are wanna be around.

credit card bill can make you even grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan that’s reasonable for after the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner.G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year's thanksgiving we are doing a part lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the desert, you know, we are gonna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel that they are part of things and that they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually gonna feel good. And it’s not, dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

after that, people because they get anxious and stress, they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good.(and you find more stress than you realized ) So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and overdrinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!
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homework

It is often heard about a recent survey we are living with extremely stress as well as the holidays approaches shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. High address, sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so breaciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the make holidays, they feel you keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come frm somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aero plane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn a way you have to, say notice something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said bear on our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out that money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be round you are wanna be around.

You grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crow and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving pop lock, you bring the potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, yu know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the over eating and the over drinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!

on dufefairy

It is often heard about a recent survey that among the third of us are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaches the shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. High address, sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in so breaciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the /you know,make holidays,and they feel that was to keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aero plane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn a way you have to, say notice something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt you set time to realize expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out that money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be round you are wanna be around.

You grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving pop lock, you bring the potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.
[url=http://www.psccc.cn/attachment/Day_071102/27_11605_8d76f11ee5b903c.jpg[/img][/url]
homework

It is often heard about a recent survey that among the third of us are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaches the shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. High address, sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in so breaciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the /you know,make holidays,and they feel that was to keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aero plane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn a way you have to, say notice something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt you set time to realize expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out that money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be round you are wanna be around.

You grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving pop lock, you bring the potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking
Don't find any excuses for yourself
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It is often heard about a recent survey that on the third of us, we are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaching the shopping, season kicks in and it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and our…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you her, psychiatrist,sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think are so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so graciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just calm down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, and the element, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. There is one sort of are ,you know, the maker of holidays, they feel you keep up everything else they are doing during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know, June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time they think, it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m gonna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aeroplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen mask comes down and put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said it's time to realize our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all, you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for the relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are gonna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is gonnna around you, that you are wanna be around.

credit card bill can make you even grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan that’s reasonable for after the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner.G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year's thanksgiving we are doing a part lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the desert, you know, we are gonna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel that they are part of things and that they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually gonna feel good. And it’s not, dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

after that, people because they get anxious and stress, they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good.(and you find more stress than you realized ) So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and overdrinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!
普特听力大课堂
homework
It is often heard about a recent survey that on the third of us, we are living with extreme stress as well as the holidays approaching the shopping, season kicks in and it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and our…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here, psychiatrist,sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think are so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so graciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just calm down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, and the element, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. There is one sort of are ,you know, the maker of holidays, they feel you keep up everything else they are doing during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know, June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time they think, it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m gonna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aeroplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen mask comes down and put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and guilt as you said it's time to realize our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all, you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I obligate for the relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are gonna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is gonnna around you, that you are wanna be around.

credit card bill can make you even grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan that’s reasonable for after the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner.G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year's thanksgiving we are doing a part lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the desert, you know, we are gonna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel that they are part of things and that they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually gonna feel good. And it’s not, dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. The health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

after that, people because they get anxious and stress, they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good.(and you find more stress than you realized ) So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and overdrinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!
好栏目推荐之美国口语俚语
on dufefairy biggrin.gif

It is often heard about a recent survey we are living with extremely stress as well as the holidays approaches shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltfer today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. [psychiatrists] sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in so breciously about, that’s not right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the make holidays, they feel you keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time they think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being getting along for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. These old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to think more and reject it about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies, maybe that’s not where the love comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn a way you have to, say notice something that you are just not able to do.

Living onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays and Gail you said it’s time to relive on our expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…the first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know, again I obligate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. And actually no one is ganna be round

You grumpier in January. And you stress on your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crow and just shop onine. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving pop lock, you bring the potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, yu know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel their part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. During the stressful time, the health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the over eating and the over drinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail S thank you so much!

Thank you
Forsaken Fairy

[SIZE=1]Living in a cool breeze
On 男儿当自强

I have heard about the recent survey that now a third of us are living with extreme stress. Well, as the holidays approaches the shopping season kicks in, it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to enlist some stress reducing help from Angela Burt-Murray as the editor in chief of Essence magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. Psychiatrist. Sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in preciously about, is that right?

Absolutely, I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, Gail, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. They are the one to sort of, you know, make the holidays, and they feel that was to keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these are the relationships, that usually you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to be more objective about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies; maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother chose to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And part of the investigating, some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down, put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

Moving onto money because there’s another big issue on the holidays and Gail, you say it’s time to realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to define you know, what really matters. And you know, again I advocate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into debt later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be around you are wanna be around.

It’s kind of car bill, you could even be grumpier in January.

And It would stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for the end of the year.

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free guess grab and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.
Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail says the important thing is to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, actually, people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving we are doing a pop locking, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the dessert” you said to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel they are part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I point it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely, during this stressful time, the health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.
为听力加油。 Fighting!
on rootandyg tongue.gif


I have heard about the recent survey that now a third of us are living with extreme stress. Well, as the holidays approaches the shopping season kicks in, it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to enlist some stress reducing help from Angela Burt-Murray as the editor in chief of Essence magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. Psychiatrist. Sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in preciously about, is that right?

Absolutely, I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, Gail, speaking with the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. They are the one to sort of, you know, make the holidays, and they feel that was to keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these are the relationships, that usually you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to be more objective about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies; maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother chose to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And part of the investigating, some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down, put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

Moving onto money because there’s another big issue on the holidays and Gail, you say it’s time to realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to define you know, what really matters. And you know, again I advocate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into debt later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be around you are wanna be around.

and a credit card bill, you could even be grumpier in January.

And It would stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for after the new year

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gift wrapped and free pa(cked )eh..delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.
Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail says the important thing is to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, actually, people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving we are doing a pot lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the dessert” you said to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do this People actually like to contribute and feel they are part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I point it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another really key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely, during this stressful time, the health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.
Be tough~stand tall``20080607
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on sarashiru
I have heard about the recent survey that now a third of us are living with extreme stress. Well, as the holiday is approaching, the shopping season kicks in, it’s not gonna get any easier. So we decided it's time to enlist some stress reducing help. And Angela Burt-Murray as the editor in chief of Essence magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. Psychiatrist. Sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is a time of the year when all of us, I think, get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in preciously about, isn't that right?

Absolutely, I am gonna telling us about just as it come down to the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressure with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations, and of course, shopping for the holiday.

Yeah, Gail,I mean, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. They are the one to sort of, you know, make the holiday, and they feel that was to keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these are the relationships, that usually you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to be more objective about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies; maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother chose to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And part of the investigating, some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down, put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

Moving onto money, because there’s another big issue on the holidays and Gail, you say it’s time to realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to define, you know, what really matters. And you know, again I advocate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into debt later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be around you are wanna be around.

It’s kind of car bill, you could even be grumpier in January.

And It would stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for after the new year

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid the holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gift wrapped and free pa(cked )eh..delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.
Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail says the important thing is to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, actually, people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving we are doing a pot lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes? Can you bring the dessert?” You said to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do this. People actually like to contribute and feel that they are part of things and they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I point it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask, ask your spouse. “hey, you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is another reall key topic. Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely, during this stressful time, the health issues can become, you know, more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol, they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.
The present is the point of time that touches eternity.

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On sarashiru

I have heard about the recent survey that now a third of us are living with extreme stress. Well, as the holidays approaches the shopping season kicks in, it’s not gonna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to enlist some stress reducing help from Angela Burt-Murray as the editor in chief of Essence magazine and Dr. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. Psychiatrist. Sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something that your readers have written in preciously about, is that right?

Absolutely, I was telling them just come down to the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holidays.

Yeah, Gail, speaking of the holidays, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, or whatever the case may be. They are the one to sort of, you know, make the holidays, and they feel that was to keep up everything else they were doing during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman Rockwell, you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectation, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, these are the relationships, that usually you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you have been together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectation because they are thinking I wanna do like I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it, but these old stories about how perfect just supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to be more objective about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different varieties of cookies; maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother chose to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And part of the investigating, some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an airplane that in a case of an emergency when the oxygen masks come down, put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, priorities and learn when you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

Moving onto money because there’s another big issue on the holidays and Gail, you say it’s time to realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to define you know, what really matters. And you know, again I advocate for those relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into debt later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be around you are wanna be around.

and a credit card bill, you could even be grumpier in January.

And It would stress your relationship and you really need to make a plan and that’s reasonable for after the new year

Absolutely. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crowd and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gift wrapped and free pa(cked )eh..delivery. So it’s easy and cost-effective.
Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, Gail says the important thing is to really share the burden.

You know, the interesting thing is, actually, people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving we are doing a pot lucky, can you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the dessert” you said to your sister, you know, we are ganna be together can you do this People actually like to contribute and feel they are part of thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I point it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, would take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is another really key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely, during this stressful time, the health issues can become you know more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people become anxious and stress they drink more during holidays, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the overeating and the overdrinking.
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on dufefairy

It is often heard about a recent survey we are living with extremely stress as well as the holidays approaches shopping season kicks in and it’s not ganna get any easier so we decided it is time for us to release some stress reducing help. Angela B and the editor in chief of Essence magazine Doctor. Gail Saltz today, contributor…and ur…contributing psychologist as well as biologist. Nice to have you here. psychiatrist, sorry about that. Good to have you. So this is the time of the year when all of us I think get so overloaded. And I know this is something your readers have written in so ambiciously about, is that right?

Absolutely. I was telling them just come down at the end of the year. They are feeling a lot of pressures with work deadlines, financial pressure, family obligations and of course shopping for the holiday.

Yeah, speaking with the holiday, how does the stress just escalate during this time of the year?

The bottom-line is women still bear the burden for the holidays. They are still, you know, whether they are working or not working, or single, whatever the case may be. Here is the one sort of are the make the holiday, they feel you keep up everything else to do during the year and not only make the holiday but make the Norman walk well you know June Creeper sort of perfect holiday.

And that includes generally involving family and family adds a lot of stress too and a lot of time I think it’s as you said women tend to bear the burden alone. You feel like I’ve got to be the one who has to do it all alone.

They have to make it all the beautiful, they have to make it all the delicious, they have to meet their children expectations, and they have to manage all those family relationships. And think about it, those relationships usually you don’t necessarily see the people during the year all the time. And yet they all come to your home and you are being together for a long period. That can actually add a lot of stress.

So you say investigate old stories to help manage the families, what do you mean by that?

What I mean by that is I think women often feel the expectations because they are thinking I wanna do like what I remembered my mother doing it. I wanna do it differently than my mother did it. But these old stories about how perfect just it's supposed to be they come from somewhere. And if you understand where that expectation is coming from, you have a better chance to be more objective about. You know, maybe I don’t have to bake 100 different ways of cookies, maybe that’s not where the load comes from. Maybe that’s something my mother shows to do but I’m ganna do it differently.

And partly that’s getting some of the feelings a lot of women feel guilt around this time of year too, right? (Oh, sure.) And you say that’s the part of thing you have to get rid of.

Right! You have to let go of the guilt. They tell you when you get on an aeroplane that in a case of emergency when the oxygen masks come down put it on yourself first. You have to save yourself before you can help others. So it’s really important that you let go of the guilt, prioritize and learn a way you have to say no to something that you are just not able to do.

We have been onto money because it’s another big issue on the holidays ,and Gail, as you said realign expectations, what do you mean by that?

I mean you have to…first of all you have to decide, you know, what really matters. And you know,, again I advocate for the relationships matters, so if you stressed out about money, if you are overspending, if you are ganna put yourself into death later, then you are going to be an anxious, grumpy mom. That actually no one is ganna be… wanna be around.
You're grumpier in January. And you stress your relationship and you really need to make up a plan and that’s reasonable for after the year.

Exactly. Angela says to have a solid financial plan.
Yeah, solid budget, and do something really simple like avoid holiday crow and just shop on line. You can shop by price and you can also…a lot of retailers have special programs where you can get free gram and free delivery. So it’s easy and cost factor.

Some of the burden, some of the stress also with your husband and your boyfriend, your partner, G says it is an important thing to really share the burden.

You know, just as the thing is. Actually people like to be needed. If you say “you know what, this year thanksgiving we're doning a pop lock, you bring the sweet potatoes, can you bring the oil reset ” to your sister, yu know, we are ganna be together can you do that. People actually like to contribute and feel they're a part of the thing where they are needed. But women hate to ask. They feel like that makes me less then, if I found it out. And actually it is really a mistake. If you would ask your spouse “hey, you take this part of shopping list and I will take this part of shopping list”, he’s actually ganna feel good. And it’s not dumping it. So you really should ask, you both will feel better.

And feeling better is really another key topic Angela, you say really focus on your wellness, your health during the holiday.

Absolutely. During this stressful time, health issues can become, you know, more prevalent. So you really need to make sure that you are eating right, you are getting enough rest and you are also listening to your body. And give yourself a little time out occasionally. You know, take time to meditate or just to focus on yourself.

Because after that, people …because they're getting anxious and stressed they drink more during the holiday, they eat to satisfy their anxiety and they drink more alcohol they go to more parties and you don’t feel good. So actually do other things to release your stress and be mindful of the over-eating and the over-drinking.

Angela B and Dr. Gail thank you so much!

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