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[American Story] SENEWS-2007-0728-FEATURE

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The traffic department informed agent Flanary that he should tack the 160 Guinea pigs to Mr. Morehouse, and collected 25 cents for each of them. Agent Flanary wired back: I’ve got 800 now. Shall I collect for 800 or what? I have about the 64 dollars at day for cabbages to feed them. Many letter went back and forth. Flanary was crowded into a few feet at the extreme front of the office. The Guinea pigs at all the rest of the room. Time gets moving on as the letters continue to go back and forth.

Flanary now had 4064 Guinea pigs. He was beginning to lose control of himself, then, he got a telegram from the company that said Error in Guinea pig bill collected for two Guinea pigs 50 cents. Flanary ran all the way to Mr. Morehouse’s home, but Mr. Morehouse had moved. Flanary searched for him in town, but without success. He returned to the express office and found the 206th guinea pig had entered the world since he left the office. At last, he got an urgent telegram from the man office. Send the pigs to the main office of the company at Franklin.

Franary did so, soon came another telegram. Stop sending pigs. Warehouse is full, but he kept sending them. Agent Flanary finally got free of the Guinea pigs. Rose maybe rose, he said, but so long as Flanary runs this express office, pigs is pets, and cows is pets, and horses is pets, and lions, and tigers, and rocky mountain goats is pets, and the rate on them is 25 cents! Then, he looked around and said chiefly, well, anyhow it is not as bad as that might have been. What if them Guinea pigs have been elephants?

You have heard the story Pigs Is Pigs. It was written by E.T.B. Your storyteller is S.O. The story was published by Randen House in 1945 in the best American humorous short stories. It is copyrighted all rights reserved. For VOA Special English, this is S.G.
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